In this previous post from 2010: http://trentandnicole.blogspot.com/2010/01/too-quietagain.html , I remember that he was hiding behind the shower curtain because he knew what he did was wrong. And his face shows sorrow. What a wonderful trait. I don't expect him to be perfect, but I do hope that when he makes a mistake, he knows it was wrong and shows remorse.
Today, as I finished putting Kyleigh to bed, Brenden was lingering by her door. He looked very sad. I asked him what was wrong and he said he didn't want to tell me. It was very, very similar to the look in the post linked above. I told him it was ok, and that I would always love him, and please tell me why he was sad. After a little more encouragement he said he was sad because he wasn't more obedient today.
Initially, I was more shocked because I remember disciplining Kyleigh more for her disobedience, but not him. He has a tender heart though, and feels things a whole lot deeper than he gives off.
I told him that he was a good boy and I know he would choose better in the future. He didn't look much happier, so I tried another tactic--he loves books and Trent had told him that it was too late for a book and to just get into bed. (Ok, quick side note, usually Trent sneaks in books even though it's late and I tell the kids no books, but this night I think he was just trying to be more responsible). So, I leaned close and whispered to Brenden to go jump on the love sac in the playroom and Trent will read him a book. His eyes lit up. That's the glimmer of happiness I was hoping for. So he went to the playroom instead of his bedroom door and waited patiently for his Dad to come read him "The biggest snowball ever".
And, I'm so happy to report that my little (big) buddy isn't much changed from this last report on his character in July 2012:
http://trentandnicole.blogspot.com/2012/07/my-boy.html
This year, the school counselor started up a "Friendship group" where they met once a week for a brief time and talked about how to make friends and read books and did role playing. I got a call from the counselor that he is doing well in the group. And he came home one day and told me that I was filling Kyleigh's "invisible bucket" because I just did something nice for her...and that every time we do something nice for someone else, we fill up their bucket and ours. That "friendship" lesson sunk in.
But, as I watch him from a distance at recess, he finds a bench and sits down. Not attempting to go talk to anyone or play. When he gets to school in the morning, he goes straight to the line and doesn't drop his backpack like the other kids and then run to the playground. He just stays there in line until the bell rings. He is shy and apprehensive. He feels a great need to always be around family where he is more comfortable in the knowledge of their love for him.
Trent and I have talked about this over many evenings together. I will look out for a friend at church or school who we can invite to our home and play with Brenden so he can get more comfortable in social settings. Though, he is far more able to socialize when it is just one kid in comparison to a large group setting.
He is so excited for his birthday coming up next month...so I better think of something fun and invite alot of kids so he can see/feel how many people care about him. The last time we did a party for him in Akron, Ohio it changed his whole perspective. He went from not wanting to go into Church class with the other kids to running into the room without a look back on the very next Sunday after his birthday party. I feel like he progressed several years worth almost overnight with the idea in his head that all these boys came over to his house to celebrate his big day. It meant, quite literally, the whole world to him.
And he means the whole world to us.
Our first fall together as a new family of 3.
His first Father-Son football outing. (I'm hoping it's not the last. He and his Dad has a very memorable day together).
Always been in touch with his "Western" roots.
From day one, he was a fantastic older brother.
And generally easy-going with whatever we were doing and whoever we were with.
I have many of the "chill mode" pictures. The kid is a natural.
Building blocks, tracks...always game.
Got the whole "older brother" role down.
I took this photo because it was during a 'scary' part of a movie. Kyleigh was ok with it, but B was a little more worried. Yesterday as we watched Planet Earth, he asked Trent to fast forward the part where the wolf gets the baby caribou. He doesn't like violence or scary things.
It was freezing cold. Does Brenden complain? No. Does he tell me when he's hurting with pneumonia, double ear infection and sinus infection? No. In Akron I had to finally take him to the Urgent care when he kept pulling on his ears and didn't look like his normal self. X-ray of his lungs showed liquid. Ear exam proved the ears to be extremely inflamed. I also remember seeing him playing in the woods during a hike and ran smack into a tree in a hard way. He rubbed his head, looked disgruntled, and then kept moving on. Yes, I am proud of his toughness. He is not a complainer.
He can take turns making up scenarios to act out without begrudging if it isn't exactly as he would want it.
Again, he'll jump in and play along with anybody, anytime.
Quite enjoys being the man behind the wheel:) And when the family gets together.
He's been enjoying "Pop Pop" house for a long time. I remember driving down from Utah for a visit when he was not more than 2 years old and he had fallen asleep. After several hours, I saw him just start to open his sleepy eyes. I don't think he was entirely conscious when the first thing he asked me was, "Pop pop house?" He couldn't wait to get there.
Like I said, we've been so blessed to have been able to make many visits to this place he has come to love. He knows what he will find when he crosses the threshold...
He wanted to help carry Kent back to the car after we walked down to the water's edge in San Diego.
A heart of gold has a face and a name.....
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