General Conference weekend ammended

Just wanted to put to 'ink' what else occurred over General Conference weekend. These kids are amazing. Having General Conference (a time where we can listen to the Prophet and Apostles give us counsel, direction and warning for 2 days, 2 times a year) and having just read a blog of a Mom who just lost her 15 month old girl to congenital heart defects and after multiple surgeries (here)....really helps put what is most important into perspective.
Just this morning I was thinking about the difference between working outside the home and working the home. At an office, in a managerial position you have people who have to listen to what you tell them and if they don't do it right, you can fire them. At home, sometimes the people listen to you, sometimes they don't but the thought of firing them doesn't even enter the equation. Time out does, but not 'letting them go'. At work, people pay you for your time and when that time is done, you go home and leave all those troubles and cares behind. At home, you are constantly giving the 'paycheck' out to those 'under' you for your time you put in and when you're done with your time at work....no, you are never 'clocked out' of that job, never finished worrying about the countless responsibilities that come with raising a home. Now, there are way too many variations of what homemaking entails. Just this Conference we were reminded that Motherhood is not a hobby:

Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family. My daughters recently referred me to a blog written by a Christian mother (not of our faith) with five children. She commented: “[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. … Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get.” She then adds: “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”⁷

Having young children is not easy. Many days are just difficult. A young mother got on a bus with seven children. The bus driver asked, “Are these all yours, lady? Or is it a picnic?”

“They’re all mine,” she replied. “And it’s no picnic!”⁸

^{That was one of my absolute favorite part of all General Conference....the idea that being a Mother is important. I don't know if it's growing up in this time of society where the world can't fathom a woman staying at home without having "her career".} 

^{At the Law School dinner to welcome all the First year students and their 'partners', one of the high-ranked Professors came to our table to chat with the students and their wives (we happened to have an all married table unlike most). He went around the table asking the women what their jobs were. I was the only one with children and no job. I felt like I was taking the lazy way out. I felt a bit alienated from the other women who were supporting their husbands through law school and waiting to have children when it was more financially smart. Guess I'm not doing my job in supporting my husband or being financially savvy. After the Professor had asked the first girl if she has a job and her own career going for her, he said firmly, "Good for you". When he got to the girl next to me and she was pregnant, his eyes went wide. Then when it was my turn to be drilled, I told him I was not currently working and had 2 children. He had conversed with the other women at length regarding the difficulties of law school and finding time for each other but also respecting the husband for the length of time that he will need to be away from the home studying. After hearing my case, he either had nothing further to say or didn't think it wise/nice to say so he moved on to the next topic and then left our table. I get this alot when conversing with anyone outside of my faith. This isn't to say that I am firm against working. In the last 5 years, I have been packing, moving and unpacking for 4 of those summers. These kids have not had a complete summer where we were able to take advantage of every park and picnic area within driving and walking distance. I have not been able to stay in one place long enough for dust to settle and work on a hobby or talent or anything else with which I might find marketable to earn a little money for our family. Now, I will finally be in one place for more than 2 years put together. Not much more, but it's something I am very happy about. After looking at Kyleigh's first pictures, I realized that she alone, in 2 years, has lived in 4 different locations. She was born at West Jordan and came home to the apartment to live for a few months. Then we were able to move into a duplex in West Valley and felt like we lived in a mansion with all the space we now enjoyed. The following year, the couple below us was moving and a new family who drank alot and were big on partying were going to move in downstairs and with there being no secure lock between the two floors and an entrance to get to our space from inside the home, we decided to move to a safer area. In Lehi we really felt like we had finally 'arrived'. A place all to ourselves and a nice neighborhood. But that only lasted until we found out where we were going for Law School and had to pack everything back up and move to Ohio. So 2 year old Kyleigh has lived in West Jordan, West Valley, Lehi and now Ohio. I am finally settled enough where I can work on something to hopefully help the family finances. But nothing short of putting the kids into day care and going to work full time will really help out in any significant way. Even that would not fully cover Law School tuition over the next 3-4 years. Enough money talk, it just seems that that is all that has been going on lately and one of the reasons why Mothers are not staying home anymore. Anyway, after feeling lazy for not working outside the home, I read an excerpt in the book Heaven's Touch that contains several quotes from leaders of The Church regarding women. One by Bonnie D. Parkin from a talk "Sweet Moments" in the November 2005 Ensign was especially significant to me:} 

    ^{Kristen was finishing a graduate degree and had recently given birth to her second child. She felt the other graduates had accomplished so much more and was reluctant to attend  the graduation dinner. Her fears were confirmed when, at the dinner, the students were asked to list their professional accomplishments. Kristen recalled: "I suddenly felt embarrassed and ashamed. I had nothing to call myself, no lofty position, no impressive job title." To make matters worse, the professor read the lists as he presented a diploma to each student. The woman ahead of Kristen had many accomplishments: she already had a PhD, was receiving a second master's degree, and she'd even been a major! The woman received grand applause.}

    ^{Then it was Kristen's turn. She handed the professor her blank sheet, trying to hold back the tears. The professor had been one of her teachers and had praised her performance. He looked at her blank paper. Without missing a beat he announced, "Kristen holds the most critical role in all of society." He was quiet for a few seconds, then declared in a powerful voice, "She is the mother of her children." Instead of a few courteous claps, people rose to their feet. There was just one standing ovation that night; it was for the mother in the room.}

^{I guess the combination of General Conference, a blog by a Mother who just lost her child last night, and rubbing shoulders with wives of Law Students who are supporting their husbands has been running through my mind alot lately. I am very fortunate to have a healthy number of wives in the Church whose husbands are either in Law School, Medical Residency or Marriage and Family Therapy who are stay at home moms. We get together quite frequently, mingle, let the kids play together and build each other up....since we are all far from home at the moment.}

  ^{I am grateful for a husband who supports me staying at home so that I am the one who feeds them, cares for their bumps and bruises, reads to them, plays trucks and dolls with them and watches Bugs Bunny with them. I am grateful that I get to watch live and firsthand every milestone they reach. It only happens once. I am so grateful for Brenden and Kyleigh. Brenden is sweet, thoughtful, imaginative and helpful in the kitchen. Kyleigh can be sassy and sweet all in the same moment, playful and helpful with the clothes. Brenden is more moderate and mild. Kyleigh is either at one extreme or the other. But when she is sweet, like yesterday I think I was the unsuspecting recipient of at least 5 spontaneous hugs with an 'I love you Mommy', she is very very sweet. This blog, in a way, has become my 'paycheck'. Something tangible that I can go back on and view the times I have spent 'clocked in'. Of course it doesn't come close to replacing the real moments as they happen. But all too often I forget some of those funny, good, and crazy times and would like for the kids to see them when they grow old and have families of their own as well.}

 ^{Like the time Kyleigh tried to put both her feet into one boot.}

Little mermaid-girl.

Or the walk that Trent and Brenden took while Kyleigh was napping and came home with some pretty colorful leaves for me.

Or when we gave Brenden a paper to color and cut out. He heard cut and went to town! If you need the boy to be still for awhile, just grab a piece of paper, some scissors and let him have his way. He was doing such a fine job, that I couldn't let all his hard work go to waste.... 

....so we decorated a bit with it.

Ungrateful of my hard work, he shook it off.

"NOT funny, Mom"

Scissors and paper aren't exactly the most conventional of toys, so we rounded up some more kid-friendly ones and had our first family play doh creation station. Everything from Parrots, Snakes, Octopus, and Green Eggs and Ham.

Brenden really likes to cook. I'm not sure where he got it. Maybe he thinks its cool because his Poppy used to lift him up and watch as he cooked whenever we visited. One time I was watching the Food Network and got a call from Courtney so I stepped into the Kitchen to talk with her, forgetting to turn it to a cartoon for Brenden. I was on the phone for almost 20 minutes when I walk back into the room, and saw Brenden mesmerized by Giada cooking. What 4 year old can watch cooking just as easily and be entertained as he is watching cartoons? Just in case it was a fluke, I tested it a couple days later. He asked for Jake and the Pirates, so I turned it to Food Network. He started watching it immediately, forgetting that it wasn't Jake and the Pirates. Once a commercial came on and cooking was no longer featured, he asked for Jake and the Pirates. I distracted him long enough for the commercials to end and the cooking to start again and Jake was left to the wayside once again. If I am baking any kind of dessert (in this case it was Strawberry shortcakes), he drags a chair in from the dining room to get a closer look and wait around until he can participate.
 If he is at your house and you're baking any kind of sweet, you better grab an extra spoon and make some room.

Strawberry shortcakes right before bedtime for the kids.

Here's a video I shot of Brenden flipping pancakes one day. I had just poured the batter onto the griddle. I turned to check on something and when I look back, Brenden had flipped a pancake...successfully too!! I was so proud of him. To my knowledge, I had never showed him how. My little boy had grabbed the spatula, saw it was ready to flip and got the job done, without throwing the pancake on the ground or on top of another pancake. He did so well, that I let him flip the rest of the pancakes and grabbed my phone to record it. (Of course the one flip I record is his worst one, but he still got it. And then patted the pancakes down. Didn't teach him that either. Guess he inherited some of his Poppy and Great Grandma's knack for cooking).