Sacrifice

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught, "A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation; for, from the first existence of man, the faith necessary unto the enjoyment of life and salvation never could be obtained without the sacrifice of all earthly things. It was through this sacrifice, and this only, that God has ordained that men should enjoy eternal life" (Lectures on Faith, comp. N. B. Lundwall [Salt Lake City: N. B. Lundwall, n.d.], p. 58).

Sacrifice, although painful and probably at most times an unwelcome visitor, turns out to be one of my favorite blessings. I learn most when a sacrifice is called for. Growing up, there is not a lot of sacrifice to be made. On the contrary, we are rarely called on to sacrifice as our parents yield to our every growing need. Then we reach the age where we are able to tie our own shoes, choose our own outfits and from there, choose our own friends, and even later, choose our own college. Most efforts on our part are selfish, thinking only to our own benefit and highest pleasure. Most of these are essential...we should find the college that is best suited to give ourselves the greatest advantage upon graduation. But, it is still inward thinking. Eventually, some people marry. Hopefully, we know enough that this will turn a "me" mindset into a "we" mindset. Too often, and we have all heard the divorce rates, that kind of mindset is not in place nor is there sufficient sacrifice to give it place. And, as I am still sadly and slowly learning, it is not a one-time, "look-I-did-it" sacrifice. It is an over and over, day after day type of effort. You wake up, eat your breakfast, say your prayers and make a sacrifice. At least it probably should be as common as nourishing your body. I am not educated enough to know whether a great deal of the lack of selfless sacrifice is due to the great variety of technological advances that places in our reach so many other objects of desire (either searching on the internet and seeing all the fabulous creations others of age and interests are accomplishing and then we see a lack that wasn't there before...and subsequently feel inferior because we have not done so much. But I do know that when I do not get on the internet and see all the wonderful things so many people have done, I do not feel as though I am lacking. Now, there is a difference between finding inspiration and then being able to accomplish something that you previously did not know you were capable of or had an idea for, versus the mindless wandering and sorting aimlessly through cyberspace and finally clicking off to feel deflated. There is a great article in the Ensign this month on the balance of media...because there is so much good to be had using internet and other media, but it can also be used in a negative way. The article can be found here).
I am grateful that I now have more time than the people pre-World Wide Web era because I do not have to do laundry by hand, dishes by hand or go out and chop wood for my oven to warm up. I am given so much more time than my predecessors. But the things I fill my time up with can help or hurt. And I have found that I am much more happy when that free time is filled with doing something for someone else.

“You are the guardians of the hearth,” said President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008) as he introduced “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” in the general Relief Society meeting in 1995. “You are the bearers of the children. You are they who nurture them and establish within them the habits of their lives. No other work reaches so close to divinity as does the nurturing of the sons and daughters of God.<sup>" 


Being a Mother to small children is unlike any other work. And is just one of those jobs that one cannot fully understand unless you have been there...war, a mission, CEO, and POW...you just won't understand until you've actually lived through it. And, like every other job out there, not all occupational Mothers work the same way. If you read the news, some should be fired from their jobs, and some should receive the Presidential Medal of Honor for the wild children they are able to whip into shape. (Probably my Grandmother and Mother would be highly considered candidates for that piece of metal). However, common to many occupations, we do not seek the recognition or do it for the praise. As a Mom, the praise comes when the child lays down their head for a little longer than normal on your shoulder or when they are finally obedient to a call that you have been working on and working on and working on..... (and I may sometimes bribe the kids for these types of payment in offerings of chocolate milk....I am shameless...I like sloppy kisses and tiny arms around my neck). 

There was an interesting article on yahoo.com the other day and I'll paste the entirety below but it is a little lengthy so you may want to skim it's contents:</sup> 

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/much-homemaker-worth-182358580.html

How Much Is A Homemaker Worth?

By Porcshe Moran | Investopedia – Mon, Jan 16, 2012 1:23 PM EST

The life of a homemaker is one that includes an endless amount of demands and to-dos. Depending on the size of the home and family, the position of homemaker can go well beyond the usual nine to five. We examined some of the tasks that a homemaker might do to find out how much his or her services would net as individual professional careers. We only take into consideration tasks which have monetary values and use the lowest value for each calculation.

Private Chef
Meal preparation is one of the major tasks of most homemakers. From breakfast to dinner, there is plenty of meal planning and cooking to be done. The American Personal Chef Association reports that its personal chefs make $200 to $500 a day. Grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive to the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home. Grocery delivery services charge a delivery fee of $5 to $10.

Total cost for services: $1,005 per five day work week x 52 weeks = $52,260 per year.

House Cleaner
A clean and tidy home is the foundation of an efficient household. Typical cleaning duties include vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, scrubbing sinks as well as loading the dishwasher and making beds. Professional maids or house cleaning service providers will charge by the hour, number of rooms or square footage of the home. For example, bi-weekly cleaning of a 900-square-foot, two-bedroom apartment with five rooms, costs $59-$124 . A 1,300 square-foot, single-story home with seven rooms runs $79-$150 . A 2,200 two-story, three-bedroom home with nine rooms averages $104-$180 . Additional tasks such as oven or refrigerator cleaning and dusting mini blinds can run an extra $20-$25.

Total cost for services: $118 per week X 52 Weeks = $6,136 per year.

Child Care
Homemakers provide full-time, live-in child care. This type of service from a professional provider would usually come with a host of perks including health insurance, paid vacation and sick days, federal holidays off, dental and vision coverage, and bonuses. The International Nanny Association's 2011 survey found that nannies make $600 to $950 per week in gross wages, on average.

Total cost for services: $600 a week plus perks/benefits x 52 Weeks = $31,200 per year.

Driver
A private car service might seem like a high-end luxury to most, but the beneficiaries of a homemaker get this service on a daily basis. Companies like Red Cap, which provides personal drivers that use the client's own car as the means of transportation, offer a glimpse into the cost of this homemaker task. An elite membership which includes 365 days of unlimited, round-trip service is $1,000 a year plus 33 cents - $2.03 per minute.

Total cost for services: $1,000 per year + [(estimated miles driven 8000 miles / 50 MPH) x 60 min/hr x $0.33 per minute] = $4,168 total per year.

Laundry Service
Clean clothes come at a cost when you have to pay for the service that most homemakers do for free. Professional laundry services charge by the pound. For instance, Susie's Suds Home Laundry Service, Inc. in Texas charges 90 cents to $1.00 a pound to wash, dry, fold, hang and steam your clothes. Items that take longer to dry such as comforters, blankets, rugs and winter clothes are assessed at a price of $12-$15 each.

Total cost for services: $0.90 per pound x 4 pounds of clothes per day x 5 days per weeks x 52 weeks = $936 total per year.

Lawn Maintenance
Basic maintenance of the exterior property is a less common, but possible duty of a homemaker. This could include things such as mowing, debris removal, edging and trimming the lawn. These services cost about $30 a week on average.

Total cost for services: $30 per week x 52 weeks = $1,560 total per year.

The Bottom Line
Total for a year of all services is: $52,260 + $6,137 + $31,200 + $4,168 + $936 + $1,560 = $96,261 per year.

The daily work of a homemaker can sometimes be taken for granted by his or her family members. However, these services could earn a homemaker a considerable wage if he or she took those skills to the marketplace. Homemakers in general contribute a lot more to the home in addition to these tasks, and no amount of money can fill those needs.

<sup>All those items above take care of the basic physical needs, but sometimes the more tiring can be the emotional and spiritual care, guidance and nurturing that our children need. And I mean NEED. I can be a good mother if I feed, clothe and drive my children around...but if I neglect to read them scripture stories, teach them how to pray, say sorry, share their toys, and think about others besides themselves...then I release them into the world doomed to hardship just as if I had given them sugar snacks and fast food their whole lives. They will not be able to sustain themselves for very long without real, good food and real, good moral teaching. No one was greater than Christ Himself. He was rushing through a city when a woman touched his robe. There was probably a reason why he was trying to get through the crowds. He most likely was needed somewhere else. But he stopped, and made all the difference to that struggling woman with an issue of blood. I have lots to do during the day. I rush between making breakfast cleaning the dishes and making the beds but would probably do well, to make sure I don't miss an opportunity to be a blessing in my children's lives. Am I going to change their entire outlook on life if I kneel down and resolve a quarrel in between folding laundry and fixing dinner? Probably not, but there is a piece of faith that is required to do those small, seemingly insignificant things over and over, consistently and compassionately, year after year....even when the child is only 4. I am reminded of the article on the "Invisible Mother" when she wrote about the response of a person who was helping to build and beautify a chapel long ago. When asked why he was painting in an obscure corner where no one would ever see his work, he replied, "God sees it".

Does that only apply to things of great magnitude? We saw the difference Aaron and Hur made to Moses when they held his arms high so that their armies remained victorious (Exodus 17), it was immediately clear the assistance from God when some physical effort was put forth. But what of the small, sometimes tiring and hard to see miracles? Are they any less present? Does God put any less effort into assisting Mothers as he does great leaders of incredible armies? Army Generals deal with human lives and if they 'fail', all is not lost...they are taken back up to God, to be judged and possibly receive greater things than they ever dreamed of here on earth. But if a Mother 'fails' (which carries a different meaning than whether her child grows to be a successful citizen...failure only occurs when one STOPS TRYING. It is not considered failure on a Mother's part if she did all she could and the child still went wayward. She is only counted in regards to her own personal effort). William Ross Wallace tried to say that it was Mothers, not Army Generals, who carried the most influence, "</sup>For the hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world".  
  ^{I do not believe he is a respecter of persons when it comes to whether you are about to face war or are having an internal struggle in your tiny home on a small street in an insignificant town in a small corner of the earth. If it matters to you, it matters to Him. I have been a happy recipient of God's great mercy in response to a prayer...just because I needed Him. Not all the time is it so clear that He is helping me....but He has been clear enough at times, that I have to believe He is still there when I ask and I cannot see His influence at the moment on other occasions. Sometimes the assistance He gives is obvious, like Aaron and Hur, but other times, He is there holding our arms up just the same, only we do not see Him doing the heavy lifting until much later.} 

 (Image found here, to give due credit).

President Gordon B. Hinckley in October General Conference in 1995 said, "I remind you of words spoken by the Prophet Joseph to the women of the Relief Society in April of 1842. Said he: “If you live up to your privilege, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates” (Relief Society Minutebook, 28 Apr. 1842, LDS Church Archives). What marvelous potential lies within you."

If we came to this earth to have joy, and there is no greater joy than to see our kids choose the light of the Gospel as their moral compass, then there can be no greater 'sacrifice' than to teach our kids all that Jesus Christ taught both when He personally walked the Earth and that which He taught His Prophets....ancient and modern. And that kind of sacrifice is much like the sacrifice of serving a Mission or many other service we give....we are blessed far greater than any effort we put on the altar. The Father's balance of giving is terribly flawed. He doesn't go by a 1:1 ratio. I'm sure we probably won't even find out what that ratio is in full until we meet Him later. Sometimes the teaching is verbal, other times it is just spending time with them to let them know who, in your mind, is most important....but it doesn't always go as planned (like having them both ride their bikes to the library but you end up bent over pushing the little 2 year old the whole way, then forget a bag to carry the books home so you switch arms on the way back but are drenched in a sudden rain storm that showed up when the sun deceived you into going out in the first place). But I learned, the hard way, what not to do, and we'll try again later. Not today, it's snowing. Trent wants to go sledding. And we do have a great hill down the road. I better go grab the gear.......