Intentional Parenting

Been thinking alot lately about my kids and how I want them to grow up. I know it's not going to happen by happenstance. They don't just grow automatically in the direction/behavior/skill set that I want without any training. Doesn't happen in sports, work...so why would the home be any different?

I'm pregnant with my 5th child, and frankly that scares me a little. Ok, a lot. And maybe that's good. At least the reason why. I only want to bring as many children into this world as I can help bring back to Heaven-to their real parents. I'm borrowing them for awhile, and I think about adding a 5th, and do I have the time, patience, means and selflessness to give EACH child, in turn, all that they specifically need?
I cannot set them all on the couch-tell them that kindness starts with please and thank you and help pick up your neighbors fallen books along the way--pat them all on the head and expect each of those 5 to follow right along with what I just said. Some will only take a couple times of me saying what the right form of behavior looks like for them to compute it and in turn be able to model it. Others in this mix will take a few more times of reminding....and I know of at least one, who, I'm not sure it will ever be their first choice to act selflessly. But today, I was shown differently.

We were saying goodnight to one of our children, who had to stay up later to finish study guide for a test the next day. Trent had to come down hard on this child earlier in the day so they would stop arguing and help us move along with the next task (scriptures and prayer) so we could get the others off to bed. I had seen this child help me put the wash into the dryer after already helping me fold some of the laundry, helping their younger sibling pick up all of the playroom toys, and generally being easy to talk to and showed desire to be with his family instead of hide somewhere alone and sneak some media. This child was kinder, easier to cooperate in family chores.
So, again, when we were saying goodnight right outside their bedroom, I take a step backward after telling him I love him, and step on a big remote control jeep and stumble backward. This child's first, and very quick, reaction was to grab the toy out of my way so that I didn't fall. It was reactionary. Instinctual. Gut reaction. This showed me that this child that I've worried so much about his ability to see others around him, and be able to make friends.....is going to be ok. He does care. He wants to help, make sure others are safe from harm and he was quick to act. I didn't have to specifically tell him the correct action that would be appropriate socially.

Parenting is important, and there are no days off. After this encounter, I told my child, after drawing the blankets up to his neck, that he is a very good boy, I am so proud of him, he made good choices today and it not only made him happy, but he made me and his dad happy. And I hope he does it again tomorrow.

He smiled.